When Your Best is Not Enough

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Cor. 12:9)

It’s been a challenging month for me with my 2 year old and my 4 year old. My 2 year old is smack in the middle of his ‘terrible twos’. He cries constantly, throws tantrums often and it seems like every day is filled with screams and cries. My 4 year old’s love language is quality time, verbal affirmation, and physical touch. Honestly, I think his love language is all of them. He’s my sensitive child.

With me not being able to give him as much quality time, he has started to show regressive behavior like pooping in his pants. As a previous registered play therapist, I’m panicking and thinking my children are doomed forever. I’m doing everything I can to manage a screaming two year old while holding my 4 year old. I feel like a crazy mom.

I wake up in the morning feeling overwhelmed. If the kids are napping, I can’t relax because I’m just waiting…just waiting for that scream so I can muster up the energy to re-engage and give everything I can to my children. After several weeks of this, I looked at my husband utterly exhausted and told him I just can’t give anymore. If my child poops in his pants to the day he gets married and then his wife can deal with it I don’t care.

As I quieted myself before the Lord, he pursued me in my utter weakness and taught me a big lesson that felt like a Father hugging me and telling me everything will be o.k. My best will never be enough for my children. I am human. God’s grace and mercies will cover me as an fallible parent. Rest in His grace.

Oh how I am learning this. I just want to do everything in my power to fix things. While there is wisdom in assessing my situation, I must do it resting in His grace. He is in control. He loves my children even more than I do.

I think of many of you who are parents dealing with your own unique situations. Whether you are dealing with chronically sick children, special needs or just everyday life of a mom, God’s grace is there to cover you. You are not alone. And you are a wonderful, wonderful mom.  How is the Lord pursuing you in your trials?

Edna Lee

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