I find it hard being a single woman in today’s society. When believers strive to follow Jesus, they stand out even more. It doesn’t help that there’s an enemy who prowls around like a lion seeking to devour believers (1 Peter 5:8). I firmly believe the enemy uses relationships with the opposite sex to discourage single women and deter them from their unique callings in life. I have experienced it…and other women mention they have too, maybe even more than once. Whether the result is a disastrous relationship or at the very least spent a great deal of emotional energy obsessing over Mr. Wrong to the point of losing focus.
I recall a season of my life, when I was on the right path. My relationship with the Lord was the best it had ever been. I was encouraged to pursue God’s calling in my life. Honestly, I was happy being a single. Not long afterwards I was introduced to a fellow in my workplace. No doubt he had characteristics I really appreciated. But what really sealed it for me was how he communicated with me. He was very enticing with his actions, his words, even down to the tone of his voice. He seemed interested in me. I allowed myself to be attracted to him without learning the important things about him like whether or not he was a believer, how close his relationship was with the Lord, and his level of integrity.
Since he was in the same building, it started to consume my thoughts wondering where I stood. This went on for over a year. I would go back and forth on my attitude about this person and how to address this situation. I knew it was distracting me from God’s calling in my life. I remember spending many lunch breaks reading the Bible and praying. I recall praying for the Lord to move me elsewhere, because if He called me to be successful I sure couldn’t do it in my present situation. It was unbearable!
Looking back, I should have confronted this person on their behavior right from the start instead of agonizing. But I didn’t want things to be awkward at work especially since we have mutual friends. Maybe I wasn’t ready to hear he wasn’t serious at all. Then six months later the unthinkable happened. Upper level management decided to move the division of the company where I worked to another location. I was moved away from this distraction, and I was getting on the right path. Nonetheless, the curiosity still remained over where I stood with the fellow. We remained in contact.
After I moved, I confronted him on his behavior. He claimed not to be interested at all and made excuses when I recalled the facts to him. It was painful, because it still doesn’t add up. I realize it is a blessing in disguise because I was spared from the immense pain in addition to a distraction that kept me from wholehearted pursuit of God’s calling in my life! Nonetheless, I learned so much from this situation including forgiveness, a reminder of God’s sovereign power and the need to guard my heart.
*Note: The author’s name is a pseudonym.