Hannah’s* Story:
Like all girls I used to dream about the man I would marry. What he would look and act like. What my name would sound like with his last name. But most of all I would dream of the Sacred Romance I would have with him. A romance where he would always delight in me and I in him. A desire to be loved like no other, and feel like a princess.
When I met Doug through work, I was sure he would be the one who would carry out this Sacred Romance beautifully like a romance novel with the best ending. He was like no other. He was patient and kind and tenderhearted and he delighted in me. I was not communicating closely with the Lord at this time in my life; therefore I was unequally yoked when I married since Doug was not a believer. I heard the cautions of being unequally yoked but never considered the implications would have an impact on me.
Although Doug is a fantastic man my heart was left empty. As time went on I felt angry and bitter because this Sacred Romance I had been longing for was coming up short. The desires of my heart were not being met and I began to be overtaken by fear. Fear of rejection, fear of not being perfect enough, fear of not being lovable.
At a breaking point in my marriage, the Author of my life began to reveal to me the beautiful story He had been writing all along. A story that was being written not by pen and ink but by the Spirit of the Living God not one carved in stone but written in my heart (2 Corinthians 3:3) This is the point where my Love Story with the Lord began to come alive. My True Love began to fill the desires of my heart as He began to change me. He began to show me that my husband was His gift to me. He began to shower me with grace and mercy as I drew near to Him.
There have been difficulties that I’ve had to face in our marriage due to our differences about faith . . .decisions about our children and how they would be raised, decisions as to how to serve and the time spent serving others vs. serving my family as well as other aspects such as finances, relationships and values.
At the same time, God has revealed to me his love for me through my marriage to Doug. God began to show me that Doug is not capable of filling the desires of my heart. God is the only one that could set me free, the only one who could enter into a Sacred Romance with my heart once I fully relinquished control of my story to the perfect Author.
He listened to my prayers for a Sacred Romance because God listens to the prayers of the destitute. He answered my prayer through the breaking of my pride. As He revealed my bitterness and anger, I was brought to my knees. He began showing me how to fully Love my husband the way Christ Loves me.
As I love my husband the way Christ Loves me, with grace and mercy holding nothing over my head because the debt is paid, I have freed Doug to love me and I am able to fully love him through Jesus’ strength.
Jesus is my True Love and when I seek Him all things are added to me. As I honor my husband in a Christ-like way and allow the Holy Spirit to guide me, I am then revealing Christ to my unbelieving husband, leaving the door open for God to fulfill His promise to wait for all to turn to Him because He wants to leave none behind. The closer I draw to God the better my marriage has become.
*Note: The author’s name is a pseudonym.
