Dignamarie’s Story:
In July 2022, I made a huge leap of faith when I left Puerto Rico to accept a teaching job at a high school in Houston. My family and friends prayed over me and sent me off on my new adventure. I had no idea I would soon need God’s grace more than ever before in my life.
I was hit immediately by culture shock. Back home in Puerto Rico, I was used to showing affection to family and friends often through hugs, spontaneous outings and little gifts, but in Texas friendships felt aloof. Encountering another culture I didn’t understand shook my sense of identity. Did I have to become a different person to be accepted in Houston?
My first challenge was finding a church where God and His Word were central. After attending two churches where I didn’t click or just didn’t feel welcome, I came upon Houston’s First Baptist Church and fell in love with the people from my first visit. A solid church community would hold me up in the months to come.
Just as my adjustment was getting a little easier, I realized my best friend was avoiding me. After my departure from Puerto Rico, she drifted from our years-long friendship, and her silence nagged at me. Blaming myself, I wondered what I had done for our friendship to take such a drastic turn. My worry and unanswered questions turned into anxiety attacks and sleepless nights.
Missing friends and family from Puerto Rico, I tried to deepen friendships with colleagues at school. However, things went from bad to nightmarish when even these connections soured. First, one of my colleagues named Cary suddenly put the brakes on our friendship after I had confided in her about a past codependent relationship. But three weeks later she called me for help with a flat tire. Despite my confusion over our broken friendship, I agreed to help her out.
While we dealt with the flat tire, she suggested I read a book she had recently read.
“I need someone to talk with about the book,” she explained. “Since it was written by a Puerto Rican author, I knew you would be interested.”
I didn’t understand her mixed messages. Didn’t a book discussion unrelated to our career indicate an away-from-school friendship? I felt like I was being jerked around on an emotional roller-coaster, especially since my Puerto Rican friend had so recently abandoned me.
But the thunderstorms were about to turn into a tornado. A second colleague named Martha had mentioned a few months earlier that she wanted to move. I had shown her my apartment complex and opened the door to my apartment for her to get an idea of the layout. But she had decided instead to move to a tiny house and had shown me pictures of it.
During spring break while exploring, I noticed a tiny house that reminded me of her pictures.
“I saw a tiny house just like yours,” I told her the next time I saw her. “Yellow between two other tiny houses. It was so cute!”
Martha did not react warmly to my enthusiasm and later explained she felt her privacy was violated. And to my surprise, she didn’t want to talk to me anymore, either in or out of the workplace. Her unexpected and extremely negative reaction to my light and friendly remark made me feel terribly wounded. It was the third strike in an awful year of friendship rejection.
To make matters worse, unknown parties instigated an investigation about me at school.
“You are under investigation because people … feel uncomfortable around you,” I was told by the administration. After two hours of confusing statements and questioning, I was placed on administrative paid leave. I was asked to leave all my work items at school, not to show up at any school events and not to have any type of communication with employees or students until further notice.
To say that my faith was challenged at this moment would be a huge understatement. I even said to myself, If I can’t be a teacher, what good is it to even be alive?
In this deep, dark well, God began showing me His love and grace through His Word and His people. Devastated, I poured out my story to my mom. She texted me a lifeline, Isaiah 41:10: “Do not fear, for I am with you. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
While I desperately prayed God would give me faith and peace and strength, I still wanted to give up. But God showed me I wasn’t alone in Houston. Friends from my women’s group at church, along with other believing friends, joined me in the battle, convincing me I was worth the fight. I became dependent on God and the Body of Christ as never before. While I waited, God reassured me every single day that He was in control. I sensed Him saying, “Believe that I am working in everything happening around you.” The future still looked bleak and frightening, but God was giving me light rays of hope.
Three weeks after the initial investigation, my principal called me in, told me my name was cleared and asked me to come back to school. Though I did finish the year, my emotions were raw and fragile. It was nerve-racking to know others had “felt uncomfortable” by simple statements I had made. I was very careful about every word I said. I also feared retaliation from one of the other parties.
Although the outcome to the investigation brought more questions than answers, I believe God has always been in control of my outcomes. Though God doesn’t always reveal His purposes for suffering, He did use my horrible experience to prod me to return to school for a master’s in school counseling. Today I look forward to all that God will accomplish in my life as He continues to uphold me with His righteous right hand.
