From Lover to Enemy

“The Lord is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me?” (Psalm 118:6)

Several years ago I was engaged to a man who convinced me that he loved me and wanted to commit the rest of his life to me. Over the course of our relationship, I shared vulnerably my fear of abandonment and my fear of being hurt. He responded lovingly and graciously which encouraged me to continue to be vulnerable with him. As I shared my fears, he promised me he would not leave me.

So during that summer, right after I drove with him to help him move his belongings and my belongings from one state to another, I was shocked when he told me he did not want to marry me anymore. There was no warning or previous conversations that gave me the slightest hint that our relationship was in trouble. I can still remember the incredible pain accompanying the events of that day.

The following events of the broken engagement were hard. I remember sitting in my room stunned unable to move physically, emotionally and spiritually. As we shipped my belongings back, we canceled wedding vendors, and family and friends canceled flights or hotel arrangements, I remember being in disbelief. How could the one who seemed to love me so well become my worst enemy? I missed him and yet I hated him. I felt so betrayed!

Betrayal is one of the deepest emotional wounds a human can experience, especially when it is someone who is close to you who promises to be loyal to you only to break your trust. Jesus experienced betrayal. His beloved follower, Judas, betrayed him and was one of the key players to lead Jesus to His death. However, though He betrayed Jesus by selling Him away, God in turn provides eternal wealth to all mankind through Jesus’ death. Can you believe that God could use something so hurtful to Jesus to bless all mankind?

As I was healing through the broken engagement, I was challenged to trust God’s plan of redemption. By His grace, God used my painful situation to make me stronger in believing my identity as a pure, whole, treasured child of God – not a damaged good which can easily be thrown away. God also used the situation to help me overcome my fear of abandonment! Can you believe that? God allowed my fear of abandonment to happen. However, through it God became such a mighty fortress and shelter for me that I believed Psalm 118:6, “The Lord is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me?”

I am so grateful the sins of man cannot throw God off His throne. God is our authority and even in the deepest wound of betrayal, He can bring redemption! Can you believe God can redeem your situation if you have been betrayed?

Edna Lee




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