My positive attitude told me my divorce process would be nothing unusual. Even though I felt pain and grief over the loss of my marriage, I reasoned we are adults. We recognize our relationship is not able to survive. My thinking changed when a dark reality surfaced.
The law mandated finances remained the same in the time period before a divorce. In the past two years I had assumed the role of bread winner since my husband hadn’t held a job. I paid the mortgage and all expenses, and therefore didn’t have the luxury of adding another rent. While I lived in the United States, my family lived in Ecuador which made moving impossible. For these reasons, my ex-husband and I decided to stay in the same house until our divorce finalized. This decision erupted into the worst mistake. My ex-husband suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder from his service in the military; his emotions exploded, causing him to think I was the enemy and he needed to destroy me.
My daily life in our home became a horror movie. My ex-husband kicked in my door in the middle of the night, turned off the hot water, and attempted to scare me so I would leave. I confided in my father about my fears, and he traveled from Ecuador to support me. My father always modeled such a great example of love and protection throughout my life and in coming to my side, he stepped in as my hero once again.
However, my hero became a victim too. My ex-husband’s terror unleashed on my father with things like stealing his computer and disconnecting the internet since he knew my father needed to work. Feeling scared and vulnerable, we were encountering domestic violence. How did I get into this mess? We called the police twice and instead of helping, the policeman questioned me about why I stayed in the house. He didn’t understand we didn’t have another option because we couldn’t go live with our family in Ecuador.
I cried out to God for help. On a particular night, I prayed for deliverance and told my ex-husband God is in control and watching over us. Upon hearing this, he screamed, “Where is your God?” That night became the darkest night in every way. He disconnected the electricity in the house and told us, “I have a gun. If I shoot someone it is not my fault because I cannot see.” As I trusted God during this terrifying night my miracle unfolded.
My Super Hero, my God, showed His power; we made it through the night unharmed. The next day my ex-husband came to where I worked, threatened me, and spit on my face. Then he confiscated some equipment I needed for my job. I recorded his behavior and took the video to the police. They arrested my ex-husband for one day and I received a restraining order which meant he couldn’t stay in our home. He went to live with his family who were close by. Knowing I made it through the worst time, my father returned to my mother in Ecuador.
God is my Super Hero; His presence rested upon me and my father when He came to our rescue, showing us His merciful hand. I grew up knowing about God and believing He existed. However, I experienced the intimacy of knowing Christ, acknowledging Him as the source of my strength. I came to know God as my good Father, embracing a personal relationship with my Creator because of this chapter of my story. My father seeks Christ as well. Since this battle, I seek to abide in the Lord by making Him a priority. I am grateful He transforms my perspective.
One of my desires God changed centered around the ownership of the house. My ex-husband fought to keep it and I felt God telling me to let it go. I prayed for wisdom about the terms of our divorce and even though my lawyer counseled me to pay for half of my husband’s legal fees, I stood strong in what God laid on my heart. I asked for us to individually be responsible for our legal fees and in exchange for the house, I requested to receive the future royalties from the business we owned. The judge agreed and a month after finalizing the divorce, I moved to a different state to begin a new life.
Over time, what I lost in the equity of the house, God made up for in the royalties I received in exchange. After a few years, I am now searching for a house that fits me just right. God also showed His faithfulness by caring for my ex-husband. He witnessed the reality of my faith as God showed Himself strong on our behalf. Through the requirements of the legal proceedings, he consulted a psychiatrist and began taking medicine for post traumatic stress disorder. God’s mercy is upon him.
I cling to Jesus’ promise in John 16:23-24 about the power of prayer and being specific. “Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name, Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”