One’s Loss is Another’s Gain

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb. 12:2)

I can’t believe our little adopted son, Yohan, has been with us for almost a month now! We love every second with him. He is such a sweet and playful boy.

Many people ask how it was when we picked up Yohan in Korea. Most people imagine balloons and big celebrations. However, that was not the case. Yohan had been lovingly cared for by a foster mother and father for almost 2 years of his life. We had several visits with them, and Yohan was deeply attached to them.

We were informed the hand-off would be quick for the sake of the foster parents and Yohan. We all played together for 30 minutes. You could feel the anxiety in the room.

Then, the foster parents carried Yohan to the parking lot where there was a van waiting to bring Kevin, me and Yohan to our hotel. The social worker asked me and Kevin to enter into the van first. As the foster parents walked up to the van and handed Yohan to me, Yohan screamed for them, the door shut and the driver drove away.

I immediately gave Yohan his bottle and broke down crying as I saw the foster mother cry through the window. The foster father ran towards the van waving good-bye, a rare scene for a Korean man. I was crying feeling the deep grief for Yohan and the foster parents.

For 2 years, we prayed for the foster parents. They were older and Yohan was the 20th child they fostered. We prayed the Lord would give them His love for Yohan. We prayed the Lord would give them strength and grace as they cared for Yohan. They cried like it was their first child they ever had. God faithfully answered our prayers.

As we marvel every day at Yohan and pinch his little cheeks, we thank God He gave Yohan to us. Words can’t begin to express how much we love him and how amazing he is to us. However, as we write updates and send pictures to the foster parents about Yohan, we know they are experiencing loss. Their loss is our gain. This is also true of Yohan’s birth parents.

As I have been reflecting, ‘one’s loss is another’s gain’ is a common theme in life. A mother gives her son away in marriage to bless his new wife. A wife leaves her friends and family to move to another state to support her husband’s job. A mother gives up her job to care for her children. A friend sacrifices her time, money and sleep to be by her dying friend.

One who loves deeply often experiences loss for the gain of another. Jesus is the ultimate example of One who lost so we could gain. He gave up his life so we may gain eternal life with Him. He died so we may live. He did it with utter joy. It takes courage to love. It is tempting to withhold love for fear of loss. Will you choose to love and lose than not love at all?

Edna Lee

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