I could never have imagined such a good gift from God would come to me and my sisters through one of my patients. When Laura contacted me to help her through her pain issues, we both knew God had connected us on her healing journey. We began that journey and she graciously gave me a copy of Capture My Heart, Lord. I didn’t have any plans other than looking through it personally. I had been part of another Bible study in the past but didn’t see myself as an initiator for spiritual things. That’s why when I look back at the thought that occurred to me when I took time to look through the book was definitely a message from God.
I could ask my three sisters to work through the study together with me. I just threw the idea out there, not thinking they were going to go for it. After all, Carrie is a busy doctor with two kids, Joyce lives overseas in Singapore and Belinda lived at a distance in Arizona. I remain amazed they jumped on the idea. We worked through each session on our own, then emailed our answers to one another and finally, talked on the phone. Belinda was special to me through this time because she would call me and coach me in studying the Scriptures.
Carrie, Joyce, Belinda and I have always been close, talking to each other at least once a week on the phone. However, this experience opened up an entirely different type of communication. The study gave us a form and forum of discussion about the Bible we had never participated in; I found out things about my sisters I had no idea about. Patricia shared that she struggled with the concept of God’s wrath and Belinda had this amazing fear. I didn’t understand her fear at the time but God would soon show more.
Our father got sick and was admitted to a nursing home, prompting Belinda to come visit. We hadn’t seen her for a long time and I immediately understood more about her fear because she was visibly sick from the affects of morbid obesity. Soon after Dad passed away, Belinda’s condition continued to rapidly digress. She went in to rehab; at this point, my sister’s and I traveled to see her. Belinda told us not to be afraid because she would be ok and that she couldn’t believe she let fear keep her from doing so many things over the years. She seemed to be at a place of peace. She slipped in to a coma the day we left.
Belinda passed away two months after my father did. Her words that she wrote via email during the time we were discussing the attributes of the heart provide comfort and encouragement as a reminder of her “voice” that I can’t hear anymore. God knew what was coming and met our needs through this experience of studying His Word. I didn’t have any idea of how much it would mean for me to step out and ask my sisters.
The antique rose bush that Belinda had given me was covered with blooms the day of her memorial service. It was January at the time and the bush is never in full bloom until later in the spring. As I gathered a huge bouquet to take to her service, I marveled at another reminder of God’s faithfulness and goodness.
*Note: The author’s name is a pseudonym.