You were running the race so well. Who has held you back from following the truth? It certainly isn’t God, for He is the one who called you to freedom. Gal. 5:7–9, (NLT) (Italics mine)
You want to know what holds me back from following the truth?
No matter how hard I try to have it all together, I fall apart in my own junk. This happens whenever I open Facebook and the news feed displays pictures of those who have hurt me smiling as if to say, “Look at me, I’m doing just dandy. Look at you, you’re falling apart!”
It happens in church when I see other women balance work, home and family a lot better than me. They seem to do it all and somehow still manage to lead Bible study on Wednesdays. They cook dinner most evenings, plan date nights every week with their spouses and they open up their homes for every event under the sun. Seriously, how do they do it?
Honestly, I can’t help but feel like a failure. I wish I could say that I get a hold of myself and it ends there. Instead, the self-pity spreads. It truly takes an act of God to pull me out of the dark funk that soon eclipses my soul.
That’s when God whispers, “I love you.” And in that moment I realize all God wants from me is to seek Him and love Him.
You want to know who calls me to freedom?
Whenever I stop trying to make life perfect, I relinquish control. This happens whenever I tell God about those who have hurt me deeply. I cry and He reminds me, “Look at me, let it go, I am all you need.”
It happens in church when I worship Him and not myself. I let go of my pride and I tell my sisters in Christ my struggles. So we pray for our homes, marriages and families. We keep each other accountable and encourage each other to stay focused on Christ. We meet for coffee, support each other in hard times, and we live life together. Seriously, how can we live without community?
Honestly, I can’t help but feel empowered. I wish I could say that I feel like this all the time, but I don’t. Instead, His grace spreads. And I remember that it took an act of God to save me from my sins that no longer keep me captive.
That’s when I whisper to God, “I love you.” And in that moment, I realize that God’s love and grace free me from fear, guilt, worry, bitterness, and death. I’m free to be me and can rely completely on the love God has for me (1 John 4:16).
What holds you back from following the truth? Who calls you to freedom?