“It will happen when it’s time.”
My friends say these things while I wait for God to provide a husband. I am a woman of faith who desires a man of God in my life. But at this point in my life, this is not God’s plan—yet. When I confide in my friends, they hit me with these sayings; you know the ones I mean …
“It will happen, just don’t think about it.”
The problem is, I do think about it. I have prayed, sought God, read the books, gone to conferences, and used every dating app you could imagine.
One particular book that has given me insight is Boundaries in Dating. I have learned that when dating, you can’t just set physical boundaries, like abstinence outside of marriage, you have to set emotional and spiritual ones as well. It’s important to realize that when you start dating, you are sharing yourself with this person as you get to know them.
With this guidance, I have been very careful to create a presence on dating apps that show I am, above all, a believer in Jesus, and these guiding principles will govern how I interact with men. Although most apps have a stigma as hook-up sites, I hold on to the knowledge that God has given me all that I need. I don’t have to satisfy my flesh.
As time moves on, I sometimes think about the what-ifs. Because faith really means that if God is good, then all of his choices and decisions are good. Faith says that I will pray for God’s will to be done and then wait for him to work things out for my good. Psalm 27:13 says, “I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living.”
As a single woman, I believe I will continue to see God’s goodness in my life and my son’s life, in my work, and in my health. At one point I was praying for financial support to pay for the balance of my son’s summer camp and to secure his childcare. God had done great things before that, but I was still worried.
Then one morning I arrived at work before the sun came up and found $160 outside, just lying in front of me. It looked as if rain had soaked it, and then the money had dried on the concrete. Stuck to the ground, y’all! I carefully peeled it away and found it was the exact amount I needed to pay for my son’s camp and his childcare. God’s goodness.
Another time, I prayed for God to give me a sign about whether I should go camping with my church. It was right after the unfortunate events at Camp Mystic, and I was scared. The day before the camping trip, a friend called me and said she had a dream that my son and I were camping and having a great time. I was floored. She did not know I was worried about camping—or even thinking about going camping.
So we went on the church camping trip. And it was beautiful. During worship, the leader sometimes called the kids to the front. My son looked for me, so we could praise God together. How joyful to sing and dance with my son, worshipping God together!
Despite seeing God’s goodness in my life, I often struggle with the in-between, the waiting. God has given me the desire to be married, but He is omniscient and knows the purpose of my desire. That purpose could be a future husband or something greater. I have to continually pray, but also continually accept what I have been given now.
God’s goodness doesn’t always look good to us because we don’t see everything He sees. And despite our desires, we have to trust that we will see God’s goodness in the land of the living—no matter what it looks like.
—Dr. Ugochi Emenaha is a literary advocate, educator, author, and proud mother living in Houston, Texas.
Photo by Mor Shani on Unsplash
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