Out of Money
Over seven years ago I held my two-week only infant, Addison, closely in my arms. Addison is our fourth child, the caboose of our family. My husband, who had worked for years in the tumultuous financial services industry, was undergoing another threat to his work environment. I like to call the events that unfolded my own “lifetime movie drama.” My husband lost his job and his company froze all of our assets we acquired since saying “I do!”
I had enough Bible study under my skin to know God is my Provider which meant I did not have to worry about anything. My head knowledge flew out the window when I pushed a full cart of groceries along with my newborn up to the check-out line; and all the sudden every form of payment is declined. I started to sweat and wondered how God is going to show up to provide and if I am honest, wondered if He even got the memo?
I left that day with a grocery cart filled to the rim sitting in the aisle 5 check-out line. I hung my head, hoping no one who could see the depths of my embarrassment and fear. The awful “itty bitty committee” in my head assaulted me with words of shame. For the first time I legitimately felt concern over how we would feed our family.
I put Addison down for a nap upon returning home. While in the shower I cried out to God- one of those ugly cries with so many tears. I was not sure what was water and what were my tears! I knew God would certainly hear my cry for help. I just was not sure when or how. While still in the shower, I heard the doorbell ringing. I tried to ignore it, but it would not stop.
To my surprise, a dear friend stood on the other side of the door with her arms loaded with groceries. “We thought maybe you could use some groceries!” God anticipated my need, impressing on my friend’s heart to be the vessel of His provision for my family. I was stunned and in awe of the loving-kindness shown by God and my friend who heard from Him.
God continued to encourage my spirit. He reminded me I paid forward tuition for my children’s schooling for the next year. I called and set up a meeting with the administrator at the school. When I briefly explained my predicament, she quickly rose to her feet and began writing me a check for the full amount I already paid. Graciously she handed me the check. I knew God went before me, providing for our needs even before I knew what was coming.
I would love to say everything we lost many years ago is restored a hundred-fold, but it has not. What I can say is that I have never gone without! During this season, God placed a blanket of peace over me as I truly came to understand His plan to take care of me is more than I could “ask or imagine.”
Greater than the lesson that God is our Provider, this financial struggle produced more humility in me. I realized I was put in a position to throw off my concerns over what people think, humbling myself to ask and receive help. God sweetly revealed my pride and self-reliance. Like so many lessons from God, I would not trade this experience. It taught me to hold loosely to the things of this earth and truly set my heart on Jesus. Living an abundant life as a believer means embracing the opportunity to wait and see how God works to meet needs….He is always near, even a door bell ring away!
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1